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                                                  "HAYLEY"

 

 

Hayley was born in September 1962 and for much of her life before we met, was living just over a mile away from where I  lived.  I did not know of Hayley's existence until we met in a local social club in January 1981.

 

We only met through chance when I was out drinking with her ex boyfriend and some other mates.  She was invited over to join us and promptly did so, joining in with the conversation and generally having a laugh, as we all were.

 

We somehow hit it off and from then on, saw each other nearly every night.  Both Hayley and I became engaged to be married after 12 months or so of courting and within another 4 months were actually married at Morpeth registry office, in April 1982.

 

When I met Hayley's family for the first time properly, I was more than surprised, when I recognised two of her sisters from my time in both middle and high school.

 

During the first few years of our marriage, some problems developed, however worse was to come when Hayley's beautiful younger sister, Wendy died.

 

This was a real blow to both her and her really lovely family who have always been a pleasure to know.

 

We overcame our problems and my wife Hayley, gave birth to our two children, Ryan and Justine  between 1987 and 1990.

 

We then had a fairly normal life and everything was going alright until 1996 when after seeing a doctor for a problem which only she had noticed, was diagnosed with progressive Multiple Sclerosis.

 

Within two years of diagnosis Hayley became wheelchair bound and from then on, life became a very painful existence.  Hayley became a shadow of her former self, no longer being able to walk miles and miles as she used to do when taking the children out.  She had to undergo three operations in hospital in subsequent years to counteract problems caused my the M.S.

 

 Within the last two years of her life, things went from bad to worse for Hayley as the death of her Dad sent her reeling and not wanting to live anymore.  She begged me to end her life on numerous occasions whilst suffering from unbearable physical and emotional pain but I, as her husband could not do this or even contemplate doing this.

 

I told her that it was not possible for someone who loves her so much, to do what she wanted even though this would have stopped her suffering.

 

Hayley's immune system was in a poor state due to her illness and unfortunately in October 2010 she contracted  pneumonia, this led to her untimely death within 9 days of being admitted to hospital.  This was something that nobody had expected and it robbed us all of many, many years of love and companionship.

 

Hayley was a truly remarkable and extremely brave woman who could put anyone to shame.  She was very generally a very warm and loving person, though the pain and suffering that she went through during the last 14 years of her life was totally unimaginable and obviously made her feel hostile and bitter at times. 

 

She often said that I should put her into care, get divorced and find another wife who could give me all the things that she couldn't give me due to her illness. I obviously refused to do as she wanted because true love is more than just about sex as I am sure many of you will know.

 

This illness was that she suffered was really severe and made her lose the use of her arms and legs, in the end she could only move her neck and head with absolute control.

 

Myself and our grown up children have lots and lots of very happy memories of Hayley, together with some memories which due to her illness were not so nice.  We are all relieved that she no longer suffers excrutiating pain but she really has left a huge void in our lives. 

 

Although Hayley is no longer with us, I personally can see a lot of her in one particular sister. There is a very striking resemblence between them both, and little does she know that they are very like each other in many ways.

 

I really hit the jackpot when I married Hayley, no amount of money could buy what we had together even when life was far from perfect.

 

I've been told on numerous occasions that we all now have to somehow move on with our lives but believe me, it is so very difficult when you have lost someone so precious and beautiful as Hayley.

 

 

R.I.P. My Gorgeous Angel.